INTP's in Love

This post was originally a response to a series of questions posed on a forum.

How does one know if an INTP is in love?
IMHO, you won't know -- barring some very specific circumstances.
INTP's cannot bear to be where they are not wanted, in terms of romance. (Although they can bear to be where they are not wanted for the purpose of social experiment, to make a point, or to teach something to others unrelated to romance.) So, I don't think someone would ever know that their INTP was in love with them without first making in clear that they wanted the INTP to love them by expressing their love first.

How might an INTP act?
Probably very close to the way that they always do. INTP's are subtle up to the point that they feel wanted/safe with another and then they turn silly. I'd like to validate your questions by saying that an inability to know how an INTP feels is precisely because we tend to actively hide our emotions to all but a select few who prove themselves worthy and trustworthy.

You would have to truly study an INTP to find this out and if they are worth that sort of study -- then, perhaps its likely that you are interested in them. At which point, it's probably best to just tell them straight out. It's really quite a beautiful system of weeding out the folks who are just playing games.

We can tell when we're being studied, even if we can't tell when someone likes/loves us. Game players aren't the types to stick with the required authentic and consistent study of another person. And after all, it's only fair because an INTP who is liking/loving you is surely studying every little thing about you. We demand reciprocity because we understand more than most the concept of futility (not having reciprocity is disaster spells obvious disaster for a relationship), and don't have the capacity to ride the emotional roller coaster that so many other people seem to enjoy (to some degree not caring if the relationship is ultimately successful -- but enjoying the ride).

What does love mean to you, as an INTP?
Love is knowing and doing what is in the best interest of someone.
Self-love is knowing and doing what is in the best interest of yourself.
Love of another is knowing and doing what is in the best interest of another.
If we are talking romantic love, then the element of sexual attraction comes into the definition. Romantic love is knowing and doing what is in the best interest of someone who is the object of your sexual desire.

The concept of studying the other person -- really taking pains to get to know them on their terms -- comes into play in the "knowing" part. I do not believe you can actually love a person that you do not really know well, in that case you're loving who you think they are -- a figment of your imagination.

The desire (feeling aspect of love) to do what is in the best interest of the other person is included in the fact that you actually brought that desire to fruition with action -- the proof of love is in the acts associated with love itself.

Well, that pretty much sums up my thoughts in response to your questions.

There's also an excellent video on Youtube about this topic by dyingatheist18: