Interesting Biblical facts about sex that I never heard in Church

I like lists.  So, here's a list of things they likely won't tell you in church.

1. Sex is a need.  It's not a "want."  It's a need.

No Really....

Corinthians 7 ⁸ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. ⁹ But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Although the scriptures are rife with passages about abstinence, self-control, and sexual purity: this one clearly states that there are folks who "cannot contain."  CANNOT.  If you're a churchy person, you might need to stop reading for a minute and let that really sink in.  Think about the implications for many of the sermons you've heard.....hmmmm.... 

Note that it says "if."  Some people can contain.  Some people CAN'T.  And the implications of "burn" are rather astounding.  Does GOD mean burn with passion, burn at the stake for being a whore, or burn in hell?  Because if one can't contain, and fornication is sin, then that person is pretty much up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle -- without marriage.

1.5. Therefore, it's not always an idol.

Someone without enough food would never be accused of idolatry for constantly being distracted with thoughts of eating.  Well, for some of us, sex is like that.  It’s easy for couples who are getting it on to be very smug about how sex is an idol in the life of someone who needs it and isn't having it.

Just look around you.  Why are our culture and churches so obsessed with sex?  The same reason we’re obsessed with food.  I don’t give a rip about what your satanic culture or church has said about it.  People are so obsessed with it because they either: aren't doing it the way GOD intended and can never be satisfied, or they’re obsessed with it because they’re starved for it.

I’m sick of people, including me, talking about sex as if it’s an idol in my life simply because I am consumed with thoughts of it, with limited reprieve.  It’s not an idol.  It’s an unfulfilled need.

2. GOD never said celibacy or abstinence would work for everyone.

Matthew 19 ¹² For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Again we see that not everyone can be celibate.  For some people it is NOT POSSIBLE.  Personally, I wish the people who can go without it would stop hogging up the people who can't go without it by marrying when they don't even need sex.

3. GOD's cure for sexual desire (what we call lust) will surprise you.

 
Prayer?  Bible study?  Locking yourself in a closet!!!  .... nope.


Corinthians 7 ² Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

GOD's cure for fornication is indulgence.  

Song of Solomon 5:1 for example, talks about gorging oneself on physical pleasure.


4. Some marriages in the Bible seem to have been accomplished in fairly short order with sex sometimes occurring shortly after the introductions...... not exactly what the modern church promulgates.

The story of Isaac and Rebekah comes to mind.


5. The Story of Ruth and Boaz is interesting.

Ruth slept at the feet of Boaz all night long in order to get him to marry her.  Now, much has been made of this being a custom of the proper way to let a guy know that a widow wanted him to take care of her as her husband because he was the next of kin.  However, we have some interesting other clues in the story.

Naomi was the instigator.  Ruth waited until he had eaten and drunk and "his heart was merry."  Ruth laid at his feet all night and then rose up "before one could know another."  hmmm.  So we know they didn't have sex.... but they seemed to have wanted to.

Can you imagine a sweet old middle-aged widow in the church telling her young daughter in law to go to a guy's apartment and get in his bed under his covers at his feet and sleep there all night to get him to marry her?  Interesting.  I'm not sure how analagous that is to the story, but it helps me think about it in a new way.


6. Virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be.

An unmarried woman dying in a state of virginity is a good thing, right?  Well Jephthath's daughter didn't think so.  She was about to be burned at the stake and she asked to go up in to the mountains to mourn NOT that her life was cut short but that she was going to die a virgin.  And her father let her.  And every woman in the country went to mourn her for four days..... every year.


7. It's important that we try to hook women up with husbands.

Since we don't have the kind of communities and families that can effectively arrange marriages anymore, we need to look out for each other in this way.  The same way we would look out for a guy who needs a job.

The Bible story about Tamar certainly underscores it's importance for some women.

Sometimes it is better to pretend to be a prostitute so your father-in-law will have sex with you and get you pregnant out of wedlock, than to die a childless widow.

Imagine this in today's church.  What would be said about that woman?  What would the father-in-law say?

Well, in this case, here's what he said,

Genesis 38: 26 "....She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son."
 
And, I think we can pretty much end this section here.


The UPSHOT.

Basically the upshot is that the church is forcing some of their young people to push the boundaries on sexual promiscuity.
The church wants people to have long courtships and engagements without sex, and as the Bible shows that's simply not possible for some people.

So what are young Christians doing instead of getting married when they need to?  They're having other forms of sex, contracting STD's and getting pregnant out of wedlock.  That's what they're doing.




Side Note:

WHERE ARE THE CHRISTIAN MEN IN ALL THIS?!?!

Okay, so I have to ask..... Why are so many Christian men so willing to throw their good Christian women to the heathens?  There are Christian women out there who aren't quiet, mindless, helpless types.  But, if they can't contain their sexual desire and need to marry, and no Christian guys will marry a woman like that.... then the Christian men are forcing them into the arms of heathens.  If you're a Christian man, please see: "How Women Deceive and Snare a Man" to find out why this won't work for you.  If you're a Christian Mother of a Christian man, please stop trying to sell him on the pipe dream described in "How Women Deceive and Snare a Man."

Seven Areas to Consider

A friend of mine was telling me that he learned somewhere that there are seven traits that people look for when they are shopping for a date/mate.

So, I started thinking about the traits I've noticed that people shop for: here's what I've come up with, in no particular order.

1. Health/Looks
2. Intelligence
3. Power/money
3. Skill/passion
4. Sociability/Humor
5. Morality/Religion

His contention is that everyone is just trying to find someone who has the most possible points in all categories and that the best way to find someone you want to be with is to improve your rating in each category.

WRONG.

Perhaps a way to find a girl/boy friend is to improve your rating in each category FOR MEN, and to make sure, if YOU'RE a WOMAN, that you don't excel the guy you're after too much in too many areas.

Sad.  But true.

Although, it does give one some things to think about introspectively, and to be open to improving oneself.  What can you do to make yourself look a little bit better today?  Or, to stir up passion for a skill you have?  Have you talked to GOD today?  Or, can you learn not to back down when you shouldn't?  Perhaps, like me, you can show a little more warmth towards the people around you today.

And who knows... maybe somewhere out there is a person who will like you as you are -- flaws and all.

Some signs he's a Jerk.

It's time for me to offer up my version of the list of red flags that tend to indicate a guy's a jerk EARLY ON.  Now don't get me wrong, we're all jerks from time to time and we all do some things that are pretty poopy for other people -- maybe even one or two of those things habitually.  But, nonetheless, there are those who are more jerk-ier-ish than others.

So, here's a compilation of red flags that I know.  It would be unwise to view any of these as dispositive, as I am quite sure that there's some guy out there with quite a few of these flags, who (bless his heart) is just a dunderhead waiting for someone to show him the light -- although he truly means well.  Somewhere deep down.....   Really deep down.  Okay, so it's unlikely -- but I have to leave room for statistical possibility.

1. He has seldom ever called you by your name, from the beginning.
Pet names are cute after a while, but if you're hunny, hun, dear, and sweetie from the beginning: he's probably patronizing you which indicates he doesn't really take you very seriously.  And yes, I am from the cotton belt -- trust me -- respectful pet names are earned.  If he doesn't make you earn it, it doesn't mean anything.  He's just trying to create an artificial sense of closeness -- rather than granting you a pet name because you are close.

2. He doesn't keep his living quarters in any semblance of order.
I'm not talking disorganized here.  I'm saying that if you would not be surprised to find some bean that's lost it's way from a dirty plate taken root in one of the crevices in the sink or you can't see the floor -- he's probably a jerk.  How about this: If his place smells like food sat and rotted in his house/apt/car.... he doesn't respect himself and WILL NOT respect you.  Plus think on this: he's not gonna change that.  Who's gon' clean?

3. He tells you repeatedly that he will protect you, never hurt you, beat up anyone who does.... without you asking.
Think about this.  Why does he need to tell you that?  You can't take care of yourself?  Is there some reason to think you are in danger?  And why's he thinking about people hurting you in the first place?  This is a classic move used to attract and trap damaged, hurting, dependent women.  Jerks love those girls because they're controllable, they put up with tons of being treated like poo, and they'll have sex with them quickly and easily.  This one does not apply to bodyguards and secret service agents who work for you.  Ha!

4. He suddenly starts rethinking the relationship after he finds out that you have boundaries.
'nuff said.

5. He doesn't respect your accomplishments.
The scenario looks like this: You have a job/grade/bday/etc to celebrate that day.  He has other plans.  You say you want to see him.  He says he has other plans but will let you know.  Hours go by.  You say you want to go out with your other friends if he's (too douchey)  *cough, cough* busy to either work you into his schedule, include you in his plans, or plan something amazing for the next day.  He says he'll think about it when/if he's done doing whatever is more important than seeing you.

6. He never asks you to hang out with your friends.
This can be due to two reasons, neither of which are good.
Either:
I. He doesn't want to meet them because he doesn't want by reciprocity for you to meet his friends
       A. because he's been playing you and those folks know who he really is
          OR
       B. there's one or more women he'd like to be with in that group
  OR
II. He just doesn't really care about who you are and what you care about -- which means you're a tool for him.

7. He uses foul language around you.
I'm trying to think of situations where this would be okay.... hmmm, the exceptions to this one look something like this: you're in a war together, you are both teaching a non-native speaker the words they should never say to their boss, you're reading some new piece of bogus legislation together......   I mean ideally not even in those cases really.

Well there you have it.

That's my list for now.  Updates will come in as I go on about my life and discover new and exciting ways to tell if someone's a jerk right off the bat.