INTP Females and Sex (in a Marriage)

I'm not going to even address sex outside of marriage as I don't know much about it, and have no desire to.  I am simply not capable as an INTP female of engaging in such an important, satisfying, and emotionally vulnerable activity with anyone who won't "put out" in terms of a commitment.  No worries: it's only the rest of your life and you get a nympho in exchange.

Interestingly enough.... INTP's seem to tend toward nymphomania.  Being slightly nympho myself, I simply can't conceptualize what "excessive" could possibly mean.  

NOTE that this often puts INTP females into a  perpetual state of sexual frustration since we won't settle and our drives are outrageously high by society's standards.  For me, the act of sex is what feels normal, it feels like the way things should be always.  Any moment without sex seems abnormal, lacking, and deficient. However, I won't have sex outside of marriage or with anyone I deem to be less than worthy.  In addition to this, nothing but true male to female intercourse really satisfies.  This long-term frustration can often lead to fetishes such as sadism, exhibitionism and the like.

One thing I've discovered is that most men are not nearly as interested in or able to enjoy sex as society, or even at times the men themselves, would have everyone believe -- especially as they age.  Sorry fellas, but the truth is out.  One of my more promiscuous male friends admitted to me that the reason he has so much sex with so many different people is that he is searching for sexual enjoyment and hasn't found it yet.  (Doesn't ever experience quality sex.)  Many of my guy friends have enlightened me that they typically desire sex about three times a week and aren't really interested in much more.  (Doesn't experience quantity sex.)  I am fully capable and have a great need for both: Quality and Quantity.

This is a HUGE problem for INTP Females.

Here are some points as to why:

a. INTP females nearly fully equate sex with love.  In addition to sex, I personally don't need a whole lot else besides interesting conversation and some encouragement to feel loved.  What can I say?  I'm easy to please.  I don't really see what all the complication is about in terms of romantic relationships.

Sex defines a romantic relationship.  After all, I have many friendly relationships and have even lived with friends.  The only thing that separates them in my mind is the sex.  What else is there that's different?

b. Men are generally "full of it" about their ability to satisfy an INTP female sexually.  Wait.  That's not really a fair characterization.  INTP females aren't much capable of sexual satisfaction in terms of quantity, although they truly, really enjoy it qualitatively.  (This is the opposite of most women who frankly don't really enjoy it and consequently don't need much of it.  If you don't believe me, that's because your woman is lying to you to manipulate you.  I know.  I hear what they say about it when you're not around.  Most women have never even experienced the big O.)

What most men are capable of in their imaginations and what they are actually able to physically/emotionally/mentally deliver tends to be separated by a fairly wide gap.


c. This seems to make INTP females less attractive to most men who would rather die than have to deal with the fact that their woman's drive is going to be greater than theirs at times.  This leads to many relational problems, or lonely INTP females as their husbands move on to pornography or women who don't like sex and therefore make their men feel more like what society defines as masculine.  (A person who needs more sex than their wife.)

This is part of the reason why I will not tolerate a man who looks at pornography.  How dare he spend any time sexually with another woman, whether flat or 3D, when I'm ready, willing, and in need of his sexual attention myself!!  This is the ultimate betrayal for me, and for every single INTP that I know.  Sexual infidelity will get you set out on your keister.

d. So, if you're perpetuating the myth that men's drives are greater than those of women... STOP IT!!!!  Stop it right now!  You are adding to the general unhappiness of some fine INTP females who are always up for and in need of a good time with the right man and circumstances.

What I Want in a Man as an INTP Female

So, I ran across a fabulous list of fine qualities today and agree with every dang one of them.

You can find the article at Alanz Eyes.

Basically it boils down to the following:
1. Highly sexual - I really can't stress the importance of this enough
2. Intelligent - Otherwise, I'll be bored
3. Encouraging - Don't really need it from anyone but my sig fig, but this is non-negotiable
4. Pushes their self to be better than "good enough" - This means introspection and humility

I would add:
3.5. Will support me when I do the "dumb/non-self-serving" but "good/morally right" thing.
5. Doesn't have any sort of need to "always be right."

I quite agree, but it got me thinking about what my personal list would include and with what priority.  I mean, the four traits listed above are all things that are in common with the INTP; but, what about traits that are complementary?

Hmmm.

It would be nice to find someone who was able to see and meet practical needs.  E.g., as EJArendee says, we need someone to put a plate in front of us sometimes.

It would also be nice to be with someone with some financial sense and prowess.  Someone with the ability to make money would be extremely helpful.  It's not that I am incapable of making money -- after grad school I hope to be able to do fairly well for myself.  It's just that it's not a big priority of mine and I hate dealing with the minutia of accounting and numbers.

As much as I hate to admit it.  *grumble, grumble*  Someone who is fairly fearless would be nice.  I have to work really hard and engaging with the outside world in any sort of exciting way, and would greatly appreciate someone who was able to persuade me to venture out of my comfort zone more often -- based on my respect and trust for them.

Okay, well there you have it!!  Throw in that they are of the same religious persuasion as myself, and a strong, mutual sexual attraction and I'm ready to go with you forever -- whoever you are.