So... this is one of the most annoying facets of dating relationships for me as an INTP female.
You know what I'm talking about... all the little tests to see if a girl's going to be clingy/demanding/disinterested/apathetic...
These are the sorts of behaviors that are typically used to determine how someone feels about another person. Clearly we all know the world would end if we just asked the person, or had to grow a pair, let the other person we were interested and face up to the idea of being rejected.
It might be because I feel awkward around other people most of the time, but isn't it so much more awkward to be interested in someone that doesn't know it than to just try it and see what happens? I mean, it's impossible to know if someone fits with another person in that way until they give it a shot.
Frankly as an INTP female... I can't tell if you're interested/playing games/just wanting to get laid unless you tell me. Basically, if you are doing the whole push-me, pull-me thing... you appear to me to be either: a narcissistic jerk who wants to use me for your pleasure giving me nothing of value in return, or a deceitful coward. I keep telling myself that this is a generally accepted method for most people to get the information without risking looking foolish -- but to me, you're being rude and ridiculous.
If you're playing games, you're in for a bit of shock. You'll likely get a polite, but disinterested response. And, if you continue -- You'll likely be confronted and then I'll not have much to do with you.
If you're only looking to get laid. Boy, did you pick the wrong girl! HaHa. I almost pity you.
If you're interested in me, either tell me straight out, or start trying to get emotionally and intellectually closer to me gradually and consistently. And eventually you _will_ have to tell me straight out. If you're not interested enough to say it -- then you're not interested enough for me to invest in you.
Relationships should be headed in one direction or the other. If you're inconsistent, I'll get bored and resentful. Make a decision and stick with it, unless there comes a point where you decide it isn't going to work. And then don't be surprised when I don't want to take you back later. For me, as someone who cannot easily ascertain the motivations of others, trust is important and is demonstrated by consistency.
If you're not sure.... then leave me alone, in terms of romance, until you decide you wanna' give it a try.
The bottom line is, INTP's are goal oriented.
I happen to be looking for a long-term committed relationship. If the guy isn't interested in at least consistently moving towards that goal as long as things work out -- then he can take a hike. To do otherwise is wasting both of our emotions and time, and will annoy me to the point of not wanting to be around you and not trusting you.
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